♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪
♪ Heroes in a half-shell Turtle power! ♪
♪ They're the world's Most fearsome fighting team ♪
We're really hip.
♪ They're heroes In the half-shell ♪
♪ And they're green ♪
Hey, get a grip.
♪ When the evil Shredder Attacks ♪
♪ These Turtle boys Don't cut him no slack ♪
♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪
♪ Splinter taught them to be Ninja teens ♪
LEONARDO: He's a radical rat.
♪ Leonardo leads Donatello does machines ♪
That's a fact, Jack.
♪ Raphael is cool but crude ♪ Give me a break.
♪ Michelangelo Is a party dude ♪
Party!
♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪
♪ Heroes in a half-shell ♪
♪ Turtle power! ♪
[♪♪♪]
[GROWLING]
Whoa. Outstanding monster flick, dudes.
[ROARING]
Hey, that Godzilla wannabe's after April.
As you can see, these robotic dinosaurs
are the most realistic ever built.
The Natural History Museum
hopes they will increase public awareness
about paleontology.
You see, Michelangelo?
It's just the new dinosaur display at the museum.
Man, it's a good thing I didn't see that in person,
or I'd be tangling with that enormo robot right now.
Well, that's why I don't need to run myself ragged
fighting like the rest of you.
I use my brains.
[LAUGHING] Right.
To invent electric pepperoni slicers?
A lot of my inventions actually work, you know.
Sure, Donatello.
But face it, high-tech gimmickry
is no substitute for ninja skill and cunning.
Hey, I could take on Shredder myself if I had to.
Ha! Keep dreaming, Donatello.
[WARBLED BEEPING]
What the heck is that?
It's my early-warning system.
[BEEPING STOPS]
The system's detected a vibration under the earth.
Dudes, you don't suppose...?
It could be Shredder
heading up from the Technodrome.
Are you sure this heap of junk
isn't pulling our collective legs?
Well, there's only one way to find out.
Come on.
[♪♪♪]
MAN: There.
It's finished.
And so am I.
I should never have gotten involved with you, Shredder.
At last, my microblaster is complete.
This tiny weapon is powerful enough to destroy
an entire building with a single blast.
Ooh, goody.
I can hardly wait to play with it.
I wanna play with it!
No fair, I saw it first.
[CRACKS]
You idiots!
You've broken it!
Get that coward back here.
Uh, sure thing, boss.
[DEVICE BEEPS]
So, what's the holdup, Shredder?
I had it within my grasp,
but these boneheads bungled it again.
Oh, yes, blame the help.
Just get that thing working
or don't come back.
All right, all right.
I may just have to try to fix it myself.
[QUIETLY] You mess of ganglia.
I heard that.
All right!
We're hot on his trail now.
The vibrations stopped at the government research lab.
LEONARDO: We've searched three floors
and we haven't seen any sign of Shredder
or anything else, for that matter.
Face it, propeller-head,
your early-warning system is a bust.
No way.
I'm telling you,
behind one of these doors, we're gonna find...
Shredder.
The turtles! Destroy them!
[♪♪♪]
Donatello, no!
SHREDDER: Oh, you fool.
Let me go.
[MACHINES BEEPING RAPIDLY]
Uh-oh. Incoming!
My microblaster!
[GRUNTS]
Donatello!
MICHELANGELO: Dude, are you okay?
What's going on here?
You've gotta get it out of here.
[♪♪♪]
CREATURE 1: What an incredibly backward planet.
CREATURE 2: Conquering it should be no problem, Captain Zorax.
ZORAX: And by the time we're finished,
there'll be nothing left but a cinder.
LEONARDO: Is he going to be okay, Master Splinter?
I'm afraid it's too soon to tell, Leonardo.
He should never have tried to take on Shredder alone.
Shredder?
Why did you stop me?
I nearly had him.
Yeah. Hey, the only thing you had
was a warm, iridescent glow from head to foot, pal.
I must stop Shredder.
Uh, this dude's gone wackola.
Can you do anything for him, sensei?
Donatello, look at me.
Clear your mind of these vicious thoughts, my pupil.
Vicious?
Shredder's the one who turned you into a rat.
Shredder's the one who tries
to take over the world every week.
Shredder's responsible for everything evil
that ever happens.
He's out there somewhere,
and I'm going to get him!
No, you aren't in shape to do anything.
Yeah, you've had a major shock, dude.
Yes, perhaps you're right.
I could use a little rest.
I'd say the cheese has slipped off
our amigo's pizza.
Now to get to work.
I'm sick of these stupid masks.
Criminals are a superstitious, cowardly lot.
I need a new disguise
which will strike utter fear into their hearts.
Especially Shredder.
I must get back inside that manufacturing plant.
Thanks to those meddling turtles,
the security's been beefed up.
I'm going to need some help.
LEONARDO: I'm worried, Master Splinter.
That shock may have pushed Donatello
completely over the edge.
Yeah. He's really changed.
I'll say.
He's turned into a bunch of fluffy pillows.
Where'd he go?
DONATELLO: Now I'm ready
to take on Shredder
as the most feared creature of the night:
The Dark Turtle.
Whoa. Way cool entrance, dude.
Donatello, have you lost your mind?
On the contrary.
I'm saner than I ever was.
Well, you're staying here until it wears off.
I don't have time for these games.
A little Turtle Smoke will handle you.
[TURTLES COUGHING]
Shredder's out there somewhere,
and I've got to stop him.
[ALL COUGHING]
Come on, Shredder.
Prepare to face the wrath of The Dark Turtle.
[COUGHING]
We must get rid of that smoke bomb.
LEONARDO: We've gotta stop Donatello
before someone gets hurt.
[♪♪♪]
Why are you trying to stop me?
You know what a menace Shredder is.
Because you can't take him on alone.
You could get hurt.
The only one who's going to get hurt...
is Shredder.
[ALL GRUNT]
I think I liked him better
when he was the meek, brainy one.
I'd say he's gone totally bats.
Better not, dude. Could me trademark infringement.
[TURTLECOM BEEPS]
SPLINTER: Turtles,
you must return to the lair at once.
It's urgent.
But, Donatello...
Hurry, Leonardo.
[TURTLECOM BEEPS]
I don't want anything to do with you, Shredder.
If you refuse to help me, I'll...
[GUN COCKS]
...have to keep the ridiculously high fee
I was going to pay you.
All right, you got my interest.
I want a dozen of your best men.
[HORNS HONK, TIRES SCREECH]
I claim this planet in the name of the Triceraton Empire.
[WARBLED BEEPING]
MICHELANGELO: What is it dudes?
I believe it is Donatello's early-warning alarm system.
[BEEPING]
Whatever it is,
the problem seems to be in the midtown area.
Let's go.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
You mean you're actually gonna trust this thing?
Why not?
Well, for one thing,
the guy who invented it
is currently swinging around the city
in his underwear.
[♪♪♪]
Freeze, buddy.
Give me your wallet.
DONATELLO: Leave him alone, you insect.
[THUG GRUNTS]
All right, scuzzbucket,
where can I find the Shredder?
I don't know what you're talking about.
I think you do. [CHAINSAW BUZZING]
Now, talk.
Okay, okay.
I heard a couple of Wolf Jackson's boys
say they had a job to do for Shredder.
Hey, come back.
You can't leave me hanging here.
[♪♪♪]
We'll have to divert their attention.
WOMAN: Help! Somebody help me!
Manny, Moe, Jack, check it out.
MAN: Hey, chief, give us a hand.
[GUNS COCK]
[THUGS SNICKERING] Surprise, copper.
[ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
These mammals aren't putting up any resistance.
LEONARDO: No, but we turtles are.
Normally, I wouldn't fight fellow reptiles,
but since you're in league with these humans...
Whoever they are, I don't think they came in peace.
Mm. I don't think we're gonna find that guy.
We've been looking for hours.
BEBOP: Yeah. It's way past time
for my midnight snack break.
DONATELLO: I'll give you a break.
[CHUCKLING] What are you supposed to be?
A trick-or-treat turtle?
[BOTH SNICKERING]
[SNORTING]
Laugh this off, scuzzbombs.
Why, you little creep.
Hey, where'd he go?
[BOTH GRUNT]
Wolf Jackson. Where is he?
Who? That gangster who hides out in the big shanty on the wharf?
Thanks for the info.
BOTH: Ouch!
Good thing you don't tell him what he wanted to know.
The boss might have gotten mad.
Well, yeah, but if we hang around here,
we won't know how the rest of the story turns out.
Cowabun--
Whoa!
[♪♪♪]
[SNARLS]
Come back and fight.
We Triceratons are the greatest warriors in the universe.
We've conquered half the galaxy.
Whoa!
And you three will never stop us.
We are seriously outgunned, dudes.
We need the Turtle Van.
Are you kidding?
Those horn-heads will make Swiss cheese out of it.
Have you got a better idea?
RAPHAEL: Don't go anywhere. We'll be right back.
We fixed Shredder up, boss.
Good. I'm sick of dealing with that weirdo.
Deal with me now, Wolf.
[ALL GRUNT]
Out of my way, lowlife scum.
Who are you?
What do you want?
DONATELLO: Shredder. Where is he?
He's at the government lab.
He's working on some gizmo.
Thanks for the information, slimeball.
You creep.
This was my best suit.
[♪♪♪]
ZORAX: Activate the Stargate Generator.
In less than an hour,
this entire planet will be ours.
[TIRES SCREECH]
[TIRES SQUEAL] RAPHAEL: Ah, see.
I warned you something like this would happen.
I suggest you look skyward.
MICHELANGELO: Whoa.
Heavy-duty special effects, dudes.
ZORAX: It is a stargate.
A warp in the fabric of space and time.
In one hour, the Earth's orbit
will carry it directly into the stargate
and the entire planet
will be instantly transported
across the galaxy to the Triceraton homeworlds,
where it will be stripped clean.
Oh.
Well, it can't get much worse than this.
Don't be too sure, dude.
We still have a whole other act to go.
[♪♪♪]
ZORAX: In one hour,
the planet Earth will be instantly transported
to our homeworlds.
It will be looted of all resources.
Humans will be taken as slave labor.
Then the planet will be reduced to a charred cinder.
Man, that could put a serious crimp in Earth's future.
What we need is some incredibly clever plan
to sabotage their equipment.
Yeah, but that's Donatello's department.
And in case you hadn't noticed,
our resident brain has a few loose keys on his accordion.
We've got to find him.
Come on.
You are fellow reptiles.
We don't want to fight you.
Join us.
LEONARDO: Uh, we'll take
a rain check on that.
[TIRES SQUEALING]
[DEVICE BEEPS] KRANG: Shredder?
What's taking so long?
Calm down.
My microblaster is nearly complete, Krang.
Well, step on it.
How long does a fella have to wait to rule the world?
[BEEPS]
All right, Shredder.
It's just you and me.
[CHUCKLING]
And what are you supposed to be?
I'm your worst nightmare.
You've been watching too much TV, turtle boy.
[LAUGHS]
Where'd he go?
Now, Shredder,
for the final showdown.
LEONARDO: I've got a fix on him.
Head north.
[♪♪♪]
Get on your feet, you sleazebag.
Time for my Turtle Cuffs.
That ridiculous outfit hasn't made you any less gullible.
You won't fool me twice, you vermin.
[♪♪♪]
Turn the tables on me, will you?
Now I got you right where I want you.
Donatello, no!
[LAUGHING]
At last!
The Dark Turtle is triumphant!
LEONARDO: That generator's on wheels.
[♪♪♪]
Farewell, accursed enemy.
[GRUNTS]
You always were
a pain in the neck, Shred-Head.
I got you, dude.
They'll catch you, dude!
Ooh, ooh, boss, you gotta get out of here.
That turtle's gone psycho.
I know, I know.
Uh, what happened?
What am I doing in this stupid superhero costume?
You had a major gonzo attack, dude.
Well, gee, did I miss anything important?
Well, take a gander out the window.
DONATELLO: Uh, I think you'd better tell me about this, guys.
Now, this little gizmo of Shredder's
should give us plenty of firepower
if I can get it working.
Well, it's not as simple as that.
Yeah, even if we beat those Tricera-creeps,
there's probably a scazillion more where they came from.
Oh.
Then we've gotta convince them to leave Earth alone forever.
Their leader said something about not wanting to fight us
because we're reptiles.
Hey, maybe they don't attack planets
where the reptiles are the dominant species.
That's it!
We've gotta get to the Natural History Museum.
Come on.
ZORAX: Three more minutes,
and this miserable planet
will be halfway across the galaxy,
where it will become the personal property
of the Triceraton Empire.
What the--?
[ROARING]
It's working, Donatello.
They think those robot dinosaurs are real.
[ROARING]
Those beasts must be stopped.
But, captain, we can't harm fellow dinosaurs.
They'll destroy us if we don't.
Hurry up, Donatello.
Our dinosaurs are starting to look pretty ragged.
It's done.
[DINOSAURS ROARING]
DONATELLO: All right, you geeks.
How dare you fire at my loyal minions.
Who are you?
I am Donatello,
ruler of this planet,
and the mightiest reptile in the universe.
You lie!
No reptile is mightier
than we Triceratons.
Can a Triceraton do this?
I don't believe it.
This is my planet,
and you aren't taking it anywhere.
The Stargate Generator.
No!
Captain, we must retreat.
Clearly these reptiles are superior to us in every way.
Go on, scram before I get really mad.
LEONARDO: Donatello, you did it.
Yeah, I take back every rotten thing
I ever said about you, pal.
You are truly the most awesomest turtle of them all.
Hey, all it took was a little brains.
And a little help from Shredder.
MICHELANGELO: Man, the Donster pretty much
creamed Shredder single-handedly.
I can believe it.
He was so crazed
he made Casey Jones look like a wallflower.
Well, things should quiet down
now that he's back to normal.
DONATELLO: Shredder.
Where's that shredder?
Oh, no. Not again.
MICHELANGELO: You gotta come to your senses, dude.
We are not gonna let you go after Shredder again.
What are you talking about?
I'm looking for my electric cheese shredder.
I'm just dying for a pizza.
ALL: Oh, dude.
[♪♪♪]